Language
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There are a lot of different terms the LGBTQIA+ community uses to talk about LGBTQIA+ identities and issues, and sometimes it can be quite confusing! These definitions should help you better understand many aspects of the LGBTQIA+ community, and prepare you to engage in discussion about LGBTQIA+ issues.
DEFINITIONS
Systems & Concepts
Identities
Etc.
Understanding of these terms may be necessary to properly understand the terms in other sections and much of the information on this site.
Aesthetic Attraction: An appreciation of a person's physical appearance that is disconnected from a desire to be sexually or romantically intimate with them. Different from sexual or romantic attraction.
Assigned Sex/Assigned Gender: Refers to the sex or gender category a person was placed in when they were born, based on their genitalia. As in "female assigned at birth" or "male assigned at birth."
Biphobia: The fear, discrimination, and oppression of bisexual or biromantic people, identities, and behaviors. Biphobia can come from outside and within the LGBTQIA+ community.
Cisgender Privilege: The rights and privileges affording to cisgender people by society. These privileges are denied to transgender people.
Cissexism: Prejudice against transgender people and behavior that defies gender roles. It can come in the form of words, actions, institutions, and much more.
Discrimination: The combination of prejudice and power. Discrimination occurs when members of a more powerful social group behave unjustly or cruelly to members of the less powerful social group. Takes many forms, and can be expressed through individual acts of hatred or injustice as well as denying members of other groups societal privileges.
Gender Binary: The cultural idea that there are only two genders: male and female. This idea does not align with reality, and is not universal across all cultures.
Gender Presentation: The manner in which a person's gender manifests in their behavior, speech, voice, dress, hairstyle, etc. This may or may not reflect societal perceptions of gender, or the person's gender identity. Also called gender expression.
Gender Identity: A person's internal understanding and sense of their own gender. Gender identity is separate from gender presentation or assigned gender/sex.
Heteronormativity: The assumption, by both individuals, institutions, and society, that every is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to other sexualities.
Heterosexism: Prejudice against non-heterosexual people and non-heterosexual behaviors. It can come in the form of words, actions, institutions, and much more.
Heterosexual Privilege: The rights and privileges affording to heterosexual people by society. These privileges are denied to people of other sexual orientations.
Homophobia: The irrational fear or hatred of people that experience or express same-gender attractions.
Internalized Oppression: When a member of an oppressed group begins to accept and live out the stereotypes and attitudes about their identity that the majority group has forced on them. As in "internalized homophobia," "internalized transphobia," or "internalized biphobia."
Nonbinary: A catch-all category for gender identities that are neither solely male nor solely female.
Oppression: The systematic subjugation of one group of people by another group of people of higher power status. Oppression results in benefits being afforded to the higher-power group that are denied to the lower-power group, and is maintained by social beliefs and practices.
Prejudice: A negative belief, either conscious or unconscious, about a whole group and its individual members.
Queer: 1) An umbrella term for all LGBTQIA+ identities. Controversial in that it is a reclaimed slur and not all people are comfortable being referred to by it. 2) An ambiguous sexual orientation label that may be used by people who do not know, or do not want to use, a more specific label. Can be used by anyone who is not heterosexual and heteroromantic.
Reclamation: The process by which oppressed people take slurs and other tools of oppression and remake them for their own use. It is used to take away oppressive power as well as facilitate the formation of identity.
Romantic Attraction: A feeling or desire for romantic intimacy with another person. Different from sexual or aesthetic atraction.
Romantic Orientation: Describes the gender(s) (or lack thereof) that a person is sexually attracted to.
Sexual Attraction: A feeling or desire for sexual intimacy with another person. Different from romantic or aesthetic attraction.
Sexual Orientation: Describes the gender(s) (or lack thereof) that a person is sexually attracted to.
Stereotype: A preconcieved idea about a particular group of people, ignoring their individual differences. Stereotypes can be both positive and negative, but even positive stereotypes are harmful because they involve simplified overgeneralizations.
Transgender: A person whose assigned gender/sex does not align with their gender identity. Sexual orientaion is disconnected from transgender status.
Transition: The process by which many (but not all) transgender people undergo social, legal, or physical changes to be more in harmony with their gender and desired gender presentation.
Transphobia: The irrational fear or hatred of people people that express a gender or gender presentation that differs from their assigned gender/sex.
Transmisogyny: A term for the intersection of sexism and transphobia that describes the experiences specific to trans women.
Agender: A person whose lacks a gender, or identifies as non-gendered. Can be similar to neutrois.
Nonbinary identity.
Androgyne: Someone who does not identify as either man or woman; may consider themselves "in between," "mixed," or "neutral." While androgyne refers to a person's gender identity, androgynous refers to a person's gender presentation.
Nonbinary identity.
Asexual: A person who either does not experience sexual attraction, or only experiences sexual attraction very rarely or in very specific contexts. Used as both a specific orientation as well as an umbrella term, as in "the asexual spectrum."
Aromantic: A person who either does not experience romantic attraction, or only experiences romantic attraction very rarely or in very specific contexts. Used as both a specific orientation as well as an umbrella term, as in "the aromantic spectrum."
Bicurious: Someone who is primarily attracted to the opposite binary gender, but may want to try having sexual/romantic relations with a person of the same gender.
Bigender: Either 1) a person whose gender identity is a combination of male and female, or 2) someone who identifies as two genders at once.
Nonbinary identity.
Bisexual: A person sexually attracted to two or more genders.
Biromantic: A person romantically attracted to two or more genders.
Cisgender: Someone whose gender identity aligns with the gender they were assigned at birth; the opposite of transgender.
Cross-dresser: A person who wears clothes that society associates with a different gender or sex. Cross-dressing is not an indication of gender identity; there are both transgender and cisgender cross-dressers. Not a term that is equivalent to transgender in any form.
Demisexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.
Demiromantic: A person who does not experience romantic attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.
Female-to-Male (FTM): A controversial term referring to transgender people who were assigned male at birth, but identify as female. Many transgender people dislike this term.
Gay: 1) Anyone who experiences same-gender attractions. Controversial as an umbrella term due to erasing other identities, but many people of "lesser known" identities often adopt this term for themselves. 2) Masculine-identified people who are solely sexually and/or romantically attracted to other masculine-identified people.
Genderqueer: Both an umbrella term and a specific identity. Genderqueer encompasses many genders, some that are between genders, a mix of genders, or beyond genders.
Greysexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction infrequently or not very strongly, or isn't sure whether or not what they experience is sexual attraction.
Greyromantic: A person who experiences romantic attraction infrequently or not very strongly, or isn't sure whether or not what they experience is romantic attraction.
Heterosexual: A person who is sexually attracted solely to someone of the opposite gender within the gender binary.
Intersex: Refers to a person born with sexual or reproductive anatomy that differs from society's definitions of male and female.
Lesbian: A term for feminine-identified people who are solely sexually and/or romantically attracted to other feminine-identified people.
Male-to-Female (MTF): A controversial term referring to transgender people who were assigned female at birth, but identify as male. Many transgender people dislike this term.
Pangender: A person whose gender includes all gender identities. Controversial in that it includes genders not of one's own culture, which can result in cultural appropriation.
Pansexual: Someone who is sexually attracted to all genders, or to people regardless of gender.
Panromantic: Someone who is romantically attracted to all genders, or to people regardless of gender.
Polyamorous: Preferring or being open to honest, non-possessive relationships with multiple partners at once.
Polysexual: A person who is sexually attracted to two or more genders, but usually not all genders.
Polyromantic: A person who is romantically attracted to two or more genders, but usually not all genders.
Same Gender Loving: A term used by some members of the African American / Black community for people who experience same gender attractions. Used to separate sexual orientation from European terms.
Straight: Another term for heterosexual.
Trans Man: A person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male.
Trans Woman: A person who was assigned male at birth, but identifies as female.
Transsexual: A controversial term that refers to transgender people who wish to physically transition. Not all transgender people identify as transsexual, and many find the term offensive.
Binding: The process of flattening one's breasts to make the chest appear flatter; often used by transgender people to alter their gender presentation.
Coming Out: The lifelong process of revealing one's sexual orientation, romantic orientation, gender identity, or intersex identity to other people. Someone who is "out" has revealed their identity to all or many of the people in their lives. "Outing" someone occurs when you reveal a person's identity to other people without that person's permission.
Drag: Performance art involving taking on the presentation of other genders in a theatrical manner. Drag queens perform feminine identities, and drag kings perform masculine identities.
Gender-Affirming Surgery: Medical surgery used to modify one's body in order to better align with their gender identity. Also referred to as sex-realignment surgery and sex-reassignment surgery (controversial). Top surgery refers to the removal or additions of breasts; bottom surgery refers to surgery of the genitalia.
In the Closet: A term describing LGBTQIA+ people who have not revealed their LGBTQIA+ status to their friends, coworkers, family, or other peer groups. A person can be "closeted" in one group but "out" in another.
Packing: Wearing a phallic device in the groin area. Often used by transgender people to alter their gender presentation.
Passing: Describes whether or not society "reads" a person as the gender they actually are, based on their gender presentation. A controversial term as it implies that one is not the gender the actually are.
Stealth: Refers to transitioned transgender people who choose to be secretive about their transition history in the public sphere.
TERMS TO AVOID
Slurs
These terms are derogatory and offensive, and in general should be avoided. Some LGBTQIA+ people have reclaimed these terms, but you should only use them with people who have explicitly said they are comfortable with their usage.
Dyke: Derogatory term for a lesbian or bisexual woman.
Fag/faggot: Derogatory term for a gay or bisexual man, but as sometimes been expanded to other identities.
Hermaphrodite: Outdated and now derogatory term for an intersex person, sometimes applied to transgender people.
She-male: Derogatory term for a transgender woman.
It (when referring to a person): An offensive way to refer to transgender people. A small section of nonbinary transgender people use "it" as a pronoun, but "it" should never be used to describe someone without their permission.
Tranny: Derogatory term for a transgender person, usually a transgender woman.
Problematic Terms
These terms do not reach the level of slurs, but have negative connotations or implications and so are offensive to use in most contexts.
Biologically Male/Female: Similarly, "genetically male/female," or "born male/female," or "born a man/woman." Referring to transgender people as "biologically" male or female undermines their identity and oversimplifies a complex issue.
Homosexual/homosexuals: While some LGBQ people will use this term to describe themselves, in general it should be avoided as it erases and medicalizes idenity. It is also used aggressively by anti-gay organizations and speakers, and so has a negative history behind it.
Homosexual/heterosexual/straight/gay/lesbian relationship: Attaching a sexuality to a relationship erases identity, especially for multisexual people. A bisexual woman in a relationship with another woman is not in a "homosexual relationship" or "lesbian relationship." She is in a same-sex relationship, or simply a relationship.
Sexual Preference: Sexual orientation is more complex than preference, and the term "sexual preference" implies that sexual orientation is a choice.
INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE
Gender Identity
"Transgender people," not "transgenders" or "transgendered." Transgender is an adjective, not a noun or a verb.
"All genders" instead of "both genders." There are more than two genders.
"They" instead of "him or her." Singular they is gender-neutral and acknowledges the wide variety of pronouns in use.
"Different gender" instead of "opposite gender." Genders aren't opposite of each other, they're just genders. "Different gender" acknowledges the variety of genders in existence.
Sexual/Romantic Orientation
"Spouse" or "partner." Don't assume someone's orientation. "Spouse" or "partner" is a gender-neutral way to refer to someone's possible romantic relationships.
"Marriage equality," not "gay marriage." Marriage rights affect more than just people who identify as gay. "Same-sex marriage" is a more acceptable term, but excludes transgender people who are different-sex, but legally considered same-gender.
"Parent(s)" instead of "mom and dad." Not everyone has a mother and father, and not everyone has two parents either! When you don't know someone's parents, don't assume their gender.